


Exiled

by emsallthat



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Child Loss, F/M, Love, Miscarriage, Pain, Pregnancy, decision
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:22:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28818489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emsallthat/pseuds/emsallthat
Summary: Hermione and Lucius have been living far away from the magical life for several years. However, as their son's eleventh birthday is approaching, they will have to face the demons of the past.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Lucius Malfoy
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	1. I

**Exiled**

* * *

Hermione looked at the pile of letters in front of her. Several minutes earlier, she received another one.

She hesitated greatly because she knew that if she looked at any of them, everything would come back. And she wasn't sure she was ready for it. Even after all these years.

She untied the ribbon and put a new envelope on top. The sender of all was none other than Ginny Potter.

Hermione sighed and put them in a drawer. So many years have passed and Ginny still hasn't given up. She admired her stubbornness, she herself apparently did not have that much persistence.

"Hermione?"

The woman, out of her thoughts, looked towards the door. She smiled gently and waved her hand.

" I'm coming. "

She closed the drawer and felt strange. Maybe the time has come to face them, to face their content.

But not today.

She left the room, closing the door carefully. The office was her temple to which no one but her had access.

* * *

The kitchen was noisy, and that letter had made her completely forget about their plans for this afternoon. They have organized a picnic for nearby families and hosted today's event.

"Hermione! We already thought you were missing!" Mrs. Danbury summoned to her, smiling. She was an energetic senior who could embarrass many adults.

"I'm sorry Valerie. I got letters from old friends, they swallowed me up unintentionally. '' She began to explain herself, but knew she had already lost her attention.

'' No worries. See how beautiful the weather is, we got lucky. Everyone is having a great time. ''

Hermione nodded and found her husband in the crowd. He was actively involved in the field game. Just navigating the kids what they need to do.

"Lucius is the perfect host today, isn't he." Valerie smiled mischievously. "A husband like that is hard to find. You're lucky, Hermione."

"It's true. I'm lucky indeed. I couldn't have asked for a better one." The woman confirmed and bit her lip. It was pure truth, but if Valerie had known about their past ... She shook off the uncomfortable thought and changed the subject.

"How about the kids? Didn't they spread the garden with their energy?"

Mrs. Danbury chuckled, which was peculiar.

"Everything under control. They're going crazy, but without any accidents. Hayden is extremely lucky to win today."

"No wonder" Hermione concluded. "Like dad."

"True, you can see many of your husband's qualities in him. And wise upbringing by a mature parent."

"It's hard to disagree, Val. Conscious parenting is a tangle of life experiences."

_Not always easy._ Hermione added silently and shouted out loud, "Hayden!"

The ten-year-old boy looked like a copy of his older brother. Platinum hair, blue eyes and a sly smile heralds problems. A volcano of energy that loves to mischief and do things out of spite. Above average intelligent, able to perfectly twist everything round.

He had just ignored her call and Mrs. Danbury shrugged.

"Enjoy this afternoon. It's been a long time since the weather was so beautiful in this part of England."

Hermione sincerely hoped their next child would be more like her. A few days ago she found out she was pregnant again. Though it wasn't the right word _again_. After so many years of efforts and miscarriages, they succeeded. Nobody knew yet, not even Lucius. Only her.

"You're right." The woman sighed. "We can't control everything. Sometimes things just happen independently of us."

"Golden words, Hermione." Now… ”Mrs. Danbury lowered her voice. "You're pregnant, aren't you?"

Hermione looked at her in shock, she didn't expect anyone to suspect her of it. After all, she was thirty-five and had been a mother for ten.

"How ...?" She stuttered, but Valerie laughed.

"I am seventy-five, Hermione. I've seen many things in my life. And pregnant women look different ... They have such a glow that is hard to explain. And that's what you shine with. You shine like the most beautiful star in the sky."

Mrs. Danbury's words confused Hermione. It was supposed to be a secret, but someone already knew.

'' Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. It's just a gut feeling, sometimes people do. '' She winked at her and walked towards the others, leaving Hermione alone with her thoughts.

Valerie Danbury was a flesh-and-blood man, and she would appear as if she had magic. And she was definitely a Muggle.

In the village where they lived, they had never met a wizard. To be honest, they hadn't actually seen wizards in ten years. Her visits to Diagon Alley and to London happened once a year. Most often when Lucius went to Malfoy Manor to meet Draco, Astoria and Scorpius.

Hermione took a glass of juice, took a sip, and called again, "Hayden!"

This time, her wayward child came, but he looked miserable. He was clearly angry that he dared to summon him.

'' What's up mom? "She loved that tone full of childlike resentment. '' Something important, because I think I'm losing already. '' He looked at the other children and snorted. The fun went on without him. '' Mom? '' He groaned in a long, pleading tone.

'' Nothing, Hayden. Have fun. '' 'Hermione was a cruel mother in the eyes of her son. Distracting from victory just to say something. '' I love you, son. '' She added with a warm smile, but Hayden couldn't hear anymore. He ran to others to take away their victory.

Behaviour worthy of Slytherin.

The thought made Hermione's stomach contract. She was very afraid of September, because she knew what would come to her son, and at that moment she did not know what they would do about it.

But one thing was for sure - she would have to face the demons of the past. They will both have to do this for the sake of their child.

Children cannot pay for their parents' mistakes.

Lucius came up to Hermione and grabbed her hand.

'' What are you thinking about?''

'' About our son. He's turning eleven soon, and you know what that means. ''

He put his arm around her.

'' I know. '' He kissed the top of her head. 'We've known about this for a long time. We have to face it. ''

'' So many years have passed. Hermione snuggled up against him. "Let's hope ..." She broke off as her voice began to tremble. All the memories she had kept closed began to fade away.

Lucius began to soothe her and whisper soothing words.

One thing was for sure, Hayden couldn't pay for their mistake. Not now, not at all.


	2. II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We will go slowly deeper with their story.
> 
> Enjoy.

**II**

* * *

_Twenty-year-old Hermione Granger entered Azkaban unsure of what would happen to her. She had spent the last three years facing the demons of war. She was fighting the dreams that haunted her every night, the nightmares from which she woke up screaming. She was fighting the images she saw when she was closing her eyes. With a scream that froze on his lips immediately._

_She had no idea why she was the one chosen. Of all the people that worked at the Ministry of Magic._

_“Miss Granger.” Lucius Mafoy's cool voice greeted her as soon as she stepped over the threshold._

_"Mr. Malfoy," she replied, keeping a similar timbre._

_"What brings you here, Miss Granger?"_

_She dared to look at him and all she could see were his eyes. Pale blue, slightly silver irises._

"Hermione, are you okay?"

Lucius looked at her searchingly, his wife had been acting strange for several days. He knew her well enough to predict something was for sure wrong.

Hermione looked at him hesitantly.

"I don't know Lucius."

This strange phrase made him frown. He looked at her more closely and saw a vague sparkle in her eyes. Hermione was playing with him. Now she bit her lip as she tried to contain her emotion.

"Hermione?" The woman began to sense a hint of impatience and worry in the tone of his voice.

“I'm pregnant.” She croaked, and tears filled her eyes immediately. She looked away, because she knew that one more moment and she would completely fall apart.

The topic of pregnancy was difficult for them. For almost fifteen years, every time - more and more.

Lucius immediately hugged her tightly against him. Hermione started to sob and shudders shook her body.

“Darling, shhh.” He hugged her and started rocking her. "You're pregnant, that's good news."

_Good news._

Hermione was crying so much that she actually lamented.

Darlin...." It was one of the few times when he didn't know what to do. Despite all those years, he felt lost every time this has repeated.

_A year ago, on a beautiful afternoon in July, Hermione sat in their backyard enjoying the sun. It was halfway through the holidays, and England was hit by unheard of heat. Hayden was on vacation with her parents, and she was finally able to rest. In June, she realized she was pregnant._

_They slowly began to lose hope to become parents again. Lucius was no longer a teenager and she had turned thirty. Since giving birth to Hayden, she has been pregnant four times and has miscarried four times. In just nine years._

_Every time she felt like her heart is broken into million pieces, hurt. She knew it was also hard for Lucius_.

_Hermione got up from her chair and felt the thick, sticky liquid running down her legs. She knew what that meant. At that exact moment her husband came out of the house, holding lemonade in his hands. He dropped his glasses instantly, and the rest went on like a slow motion movie._

_They failed. Hermione had a miscarriage._

“Mom?” Hayden's voice was uncertain. The boy didn't like to see his mother cry. And it did happen every now and then. “Did I mess up again?” He asked hesitantly, trying to find out the truth.

Hermione shook herself instantly and looked at him, trying to smile. Lucius cut in, setting a tone that Hayden knew perfectly well.

"Son, our little investigation proves that you are extremely good today. Mom is crying with joy, unable to believe that it is true."

Lucius released his wife and walked over to his son, tugging his head.

"Mom, is that true?" Hayden was slightly confused, which made Hermione laugh weakly.

“And has Dad ever lied?” The light tone of his speech hid meaning only few could understand.

_"I was assigned to a project from the Ministry. I'll be your shadow."_

_"Really?" The astonishment on his face was just a flash, then the mask came back._ _"Of course, Miss Granger. As you wish."_

_"Mr. Malfoy, I hope our cooperation goes well and we build a relationship for the good of the Ministry ..." Hermione continued as Lucius snorted, brutally cutting her off._

_"First of all, please leave that crap in the Ministry. Second, honesty. If you are to be my shadow, I can't stand lying. If something doesn’t feel right for you, Miss Granger, please say it. “_

The boy has looked at his parents and smiled.

“I got an owl from Draco. He said he'd visit us this week.” He took a small note out of his pocket. "And before you say anything about owls, he sent her over the night. Nobody saw. " He knew this information would cause panic in parent’s eyes. Parents didn’t like any wizardry things happening in their ordinary lives. Which was strange and Hayden didn’t understand it - magic was great. But they were parents, not always their behaviour had to make sense to him.

Lucius's face tightened. Draco only visited them when there was absolutely no choice.

"Did he specify when?" Hermione sobered up enough to ask additional question on Lucius behalf.

"Nothing, Mom. He just wrote to pass it on to you." Hayden handed her the piece of paper and grimaced, "I don't understand why he won't write to you. I'm not an owl."

"It's true, Son. But you are Draco's favourite brother." Hermione stroked his head. "Go pack, you're going to Grandma's tomorrow."

As Hayden left, Hermione took a deep breath. Lucius took the paper from her hand and read it aloud.

_Hayden, tell Dad - I'll be in Oakshire in the week. DM_

“You know what that means, Hermione?” Lucius's voice was soft, in a completely different tone than the last. The woman nodded and felt her stomach contract immediately.

“Everything will come back.” Her voice trembled. “I'm scared Lucius.” She whispered and walked over to him to cuddle. "I'm afraid it will end up like twelve years ago."

They fell silent.

"You should read Ginny's letters. I think it's time."

She knew the smell of Lucius by heart, she knew every wrinkle on his body, every dimple he had. She knew everything about every scar he had. After all these years, she would find him at the end of the world without sight.

“I love you.” Her voice was almost voiceless, but it was enough. He lifted her chin and kissed her like the first time.

He loved her. Over the years.

_"Why did you do this? You paid a huge price for it."_

_"We don't always make wise decisions from a rational point of view. You'll find out for yourself one day." Lucius wrapped the parchment and tied it with a ribbon. “Could you pass this on to Draco?” He handed her the letter, and she hesitated._

_She shouldn't be doing this._

_"You can read it if you have doubts about the content, Miss Granger," he added coldly, and she scared off._

_“That's not what I meant.” She started to speak, but stopped._

_"Rule number one, Miss Granger. We're not lying to each other."_


End file.
